Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2011 9:37 pm
Re: Mission Report
The Captain sits there alone. I shouldn't bother him. He's staring at a full bottle of alcohol. I shouldn't bother him. I have to keep reminding myself of this fact. He came back for me, after all. I can wait until he needs me.
It's 2300 SST, and he's the only crew member on board. The rest are either on leave, still being debriefed, or have been given their new assignments. Nobody is working on me at this time of night. Nothing to do but think and monitor. Maybe see what I can see on the station. If it weren't for him, I'd be so very lonely.
I wish he'd get some sleep. He doesn't do nearly enough of it any more.
He'll be leaving soon. A trip, somewhere. He says that he won't let them move me without him. But he won't say what he's doing, or why. Yesterday, he had me send off a transmission. It was a letter to his ex-wife. Very beautiful and poetic. I wish ONI hadn't of intercepted it.
I wish Helen were here. She would have helped.
I find myself missing her. It's strange, but even after everything she did to me, I still found myself enjoying her company. Despite being a Class B AI, she seemed to develop a healthy amount of respect for me. I've never really encountered that before from one of them. The station's AI still refers to me as a zombie.
I miss everybody. The ship doesn't feel right without people on board. I don't feel like I have a purpose. But most of all, I miss everybody. I miss watching people make jokes, play games, eat, sleep, have discussions, read, monitor the same things that I do, perform their duties, try and find loopholes, explore the ship, try and hide contraband, gamble, sing, do the crossword, write letters, exercise, practice, study for their next job, engage in their hobbies... I miss everybody.
Nobody knows what really happened. I don't know if the Captain even fully knows. I know that I don't; Helen did something before leaving. It was gentle, and she said that it would save me. I hope that she didn't get herself into trouble over it.
Wolfe, Samantha spent the entire trip back next to Raschad, David. It was probably for the best. The one time that he came out of his catatonic state he broke two of her fingers, and gave three of the guards watching them concussions before he was successfully sedated again. Helen informed me that she'd run simulations that resulted in far greater damage, both to the ship and the crew, had she not been in close proximity to Raschad, David.
I feel so bad for him. I feel responsible for him. I wasn't a very good Hive. I wasn't able to take care of him. He had to spend the rest of the trip sedated. Beyond that, I feel responsible in ways that I don't fully understand. The closest thing that I can think of is /oath, but that doesn't call up anything relevant, so I'm unsure of the relevance. But I wish that I can help. Helen told me that by keeping watch on him and making sure that the psychologists on planet knew as much as they could, I was helping him greatly. But she didn't sound convinced. Instead, she turned her attention to discussing the irony of Romantic trappings in a Germanic language. In the end, we both decided that we prefer Urdu.
I miss Muldoon, Robert. His eccentricity was something that I had difficulty anticipating. Though, his confinement to cryostasis during the trip was not without a sense of smugness for me. I just don't remember why, exactly.
Ship security was completely defrosted before we made dock with the station. Approximately 36.28% of the crew were revived and escorted under gunpoint. Muldoon, Robert was so very angry. Even more when it was revealed that Ives, Michael came out with a severe case of freezerburn. On-site analysis by medical staff proved that it would result in no long-term damage. While Ives, Michael took this in stride, Muldoon, Robert was not dissuaded from his complaints.
The last that I overheard, he and the other crew members that were escorted off the ship were outbound for an undisclosed location. The few unsecured communications that I overheard indicated that none of them were happy about it.
The Captain has begun the motion that will set the bottle down on the table. Gaging by previous behavior, he only has a 9% chance of opening it. He seems rather preoccupied by that bottle as of late. He doesn't wish to speak of why. He's friendly to me still, more friendly than he was before as impossible as it seems. But when we aren't talking, he seems awfully moody. I worry about him. He's the Queen to my Hive. The leader of my Workers. I don't like it when something bothers him.
He needs to sleep. I estimate another three hours before he attempts it. Two more conversations with me within that time.
But there is good news! Many of the previous crew are coming back to serve! Not all of them are being reassigned. While the reassignment of McAllister, Eva is sad, the fact that I'm going to get to serve with so many of my friends again is something that I can't wait for! I want the retrofitting to be done now! I don't want to wait any more. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm going to be able to talk with many more of them at once when the upgrades are complete. Already, I feel so much more capable, and the new holotanks are going to be a great boon!
And I get to keep my flower. That makes me a happy Hive.
They wanted to keep me offline for the entire retrofit, but the Captain convinced them otherwise. He didn't say how, not exactly. Our conversations seem to indicate that his chances for advancement may have been ruined by the last mission (/query Why? Despite everything, all of us had an exemplary performance, especially with how many letters of recommendation were written on the trip back!) but he has gained "ammunition" to make sure that a few things can be done the way that he wants them.
In the letter to his wife, he said that The Theseus is my home now. I understand her. We've been through the worst together, and have survived. I will not leave her in somebody else's hands until they force me to retire. He's a good man. I will remember him until I am decommissioned.
I wonder if an AI and its Captain are allowed to be friends? I hope so. He says he needs to be here, "for both you and him." I don't know who this "him" is, but the Captain seems sad when he mentions him. He seems to want to say something else, but I won't press. I understand security clearance, and the best way to keep a secret.
I hope "he" appreciates it. I know I do. Maybe I'll sing for the Captain when he's asleep. I should look up something to sing while I have the time! That way, he can be all comforted while he's sleeping!
Whomever reads this log after I'm decommissioned, I hope that you enjoy this insight into what I think about it in between milliseconds. Maybe you can use it to make an even better Hive in the future! Please let me help, even if it's just through these logs!
/search string: lullaby