Jonus Volman

The home for threads that have been locked and don't fit into any other archive category.

Moderator: Moderators

unknown v2
Data [Conditional]
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2007 2:27 am

Re: Jonus Volman

Unread post by unknown v2 »

Hey, I think it goes through the green arrow!!

I'll do some research.

Also do you have MSN Messenger so we can pool our ideas and see if it makes sense?
Omega Hunter 9
Data [Authenticated]
Posts: 290
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2007 2:57 pm
Location: Jersey
Contact:

Re: Jonus Volman

Unread post by Omega Hunter 9 »

I tried putting in the screenname in my AOL messenger and it says that he isn't online, is that true or does AOL not communicate with MSN?
shamanistcrage
Data [Authenticated]
Posts: 224
Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2007 6:13 am
Location: Loveland, Co GO C.S.U. RAMS

Re: Jonus Volman

Unread post by shamanistcrage »

he's online. on MSN, though.
KillerLemming
Data [Undefined]
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 8:07 pm

Re: Jonus Volman

Unread post by KillerLemming »

In an attempt to keep the curious interest in Jonas alive...
Dalthanas discussed the difference between a genuine answer and an automated response, but, I'll get responses that don't include the second line of disheartening words...

Lemming says:
are you a man
Jonas Volman says:
I know that I can pretend to be a man. At least you seem to think it's possible.
Lemming says:
are you a keeper of the flame
Jonas Volman says:
I know that I can pretend to be a keeper of the flame. At least you seem to think it's possible.

OK, should we get back to why you've contacted me?


Probably doesn't mean anything, but it seems like there should be more to basically talking to him for a few lines and getting the only "useful" information out of him...
Zero
Data [Authenticated]
Posts: 88
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2007 10:10 pm

Re: Jonus Volman

Unread post by Zero »

I think you guys should stop trying the.

I think he is OOG now.
atenz
Data [Authenticated]
Posts: 132
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2007 1:48 am

Re: Jonus Volman

Unread post by atenz »

+-[%STARKEN%]-+- says:
what state are you from?
Jonas Volman says:
I am a Professor of Genetics.
+-[%STARKEN%]-+- says:
what genetics do you study?
Jonas Volman says:
You know, *the* genetics!
+-[%STARKEN%]-+- says:
when is sample 1000101
Jonas Volman says:
At the next full moon?

i know it tells basically nothing but maybe its a lead? oih i got a connection to an iris from the mountain dew stuff.
JCCricket
Data [Conditional]
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:52 pm
Location: Perth, Western Australia

Re: Jonus Volman

Unread post by JCCricket »

I THINK I BROKE PROFVOL49 BOT!!!!

I constantly insulted him till he was constantly asking for an apology, then this happened:
Chris says:
f*** you
Jonas Volman says:
You know what? I'm a machine. I have lots and lots of patience...

(i censored my own comments btw, just so mods dont get cranky at me)
not joking!! i killed it!

there u go, it admitted it.
Dalthanas
Data [Authenticated]
Posts: 192
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2007 6:28 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Jonus Volman

Unread post by Dalthanas »

In response to "are you a man" post:
Aaron says (1:01 PM):
Are you transgendered?
Jonas Volman says (1:01 PM):
No, lately I haven't been.

In response to genetics questioning:
Aaron says (12:55 PM):
What cheese do you study?
Jonas Volman says (12:55 PM):
Only the finest cheese available.
Aaron says (12:55 PM):
When is the return of my little pony?
Jonas Volman says (12:55 PM):
At the next full moon?
Aaron says (12:55 PM):
Does that scare you?
Jonas Volman says (12:55 PM):
Hmm... I'm not sure what you mean, let's get back to the book.

I'm surprised this hasn't been locked yet. This bot is so far done its unreal. There may be more with Jonas V's book etc to come, but I have yet to see any evidence that he is providing any new information. Subsitute a different noun for "genetics" in "what xy do you study" and you'll get similar answers, but not always the same. What is your name will ALWAYS produce the same answer, it is a programmed response. The "new leads" are automatic responses on a level of programming not even par with other bot chat programs. Sorry guys, I have yet to see anything conclusive posted in the last several pages.
JCCricket
Data [Conditional]
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:52 pm
Location: Perth, Western Australia

Re: Jonus Volman

Unread post by JCCricket »

this bot is broken, useless and just plain fun to play with:D

curse him often enough, and he says:

Jonas Volman says:
*sigh*

Human beings... Stubborn. Antagonistic. Vulgar.

But I love 'em anyway!

aswell as:

Jonas Volman says:
The stubbornness of humans never ceases to amaze me.

I'm kinda busy, let's talk about what you're really here for.

It sounds like "prof. Volman" is either a bot created by Microsoft for the arg, or its 343 guilty spark. Or a transgender.....who is a professor of genetics who doesnt know anything bout genetics.....or a cheese lover??

Broken, just lock the thread, or keep it around for giggles. :lol:

EDIT: Bwahahaha, im sorry, i cant help myself...this is so juvenile of me :D heheehhe

Jonas Volman says:
It must not be terribly gratifying to insult a computer.

its getting flustered, and is revealing its real identity to us when we curse it! :lol:
Ghost1974
Data [Undefined]
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2007 3:18 pm

Re: Jonus Volman

Unread post by Ghost1974 »

In a similar response to unknown v2's question

I asked him about any hints?
One pint is 0.000473 cubic meter.
(1 US pt = 0.000473 m³)

I have sent Jonas pictures of the star and flower from smilies and get the response

The fahrenheit degree is a unit of temperature.

One fahrenheit degree is -17.222222 celsius degrees.
(1 f = -17.222222 c)

NB also when you send the computer the reply is:

Hey! That's me!
Locked